hope I didn't violate any copyright laws from various books and other source, thanks to <all> anyway..

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Russian GM Eduard Gufeld once lost on time in a winning position in England. He muttered after the game, "I unluckiest Russian in England. All my life I unlucky."

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Eduard Gufeld was in love with a beautiful girl and tried everything to win her heart – chocolates, flowers, letters – but nothing worked. Then one day he found out that she played chess. So, in his next letter to her, he used a few metaphors to describe his love for her. He wrote: “You are for me the Queen on d8 and I am the pawn on d7!” His chess metaphors won her heart and they lived happily ever after.

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The late GM Eduard Gufeld usually orders drinks without ice and asks for ice in a separate cup. He said, "I get less beverage if they put ice and beverage in the same cup."

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GM Eduard Gufeld once conducted a 20-man simul exhibition at a cheap cost of $4 per head in the Philippines. He said, "Do not tell to other GMs because they will kill me." He goes on to win all games.

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When the late GM Eduard Gufeld was asked if he encouraged and taught his stepson to play chess. He replied, "One crazy man in the family is enough!"

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In one of his U.S. games, GM Eduard Gufeld, in seemingly hopeless position and in time trouble, managed to save a game by pressing the button of the fire alarm on the wall just above the head of his opponent, who understandably lost his nerve and the game.

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In Beijing 1996 against GM Eduard Gufeld, GM Anthony Miles was black and started 1.e4 c6 2.d4 Na6. Miles got a decent position but lost the game. The next day, Gufeld saw Miles at breakfast. Gufeld said: "I hate you, my friend. You are destroying chess with your stupid ideas." Gufeld kept shouting for two hours and later he never said a polite word to Miles. When they met at the board again, there was no handshake.

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GM Vladimir Bagirov once told GM Aleksandar Baburin that GM Eduard Gufeld "bought furniture for his entire flat" for the fees that he received for annotations in various magazines to the Bagirov-Gufeld USSR Championship 1973 where Gufeld won.

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GM Eduard Gufeld wrote the book "Bobby Fischer from Chess Genius to Legend". Unfortunately, he passed away before he could see the book.

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At the 1995 US Senior Open, GM Arnold Denker was pressing GM Eduard Gufeld in a marathon game. Gufeld, irked by Denker's refusal of his draw offer, told him, "You're a Grandmaster, you know it's a draw." Denker, unruffled, replied, "You're a Grandmaster, draw it!"

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1973 USSR Cup Tournament in Dnepropetrovsk: GM Eduard Gufeld played a 4-game match against Mikhail Tal. In the third game (the first two were draws), Gufeld had an obvious advantage but his flag started to rise. He asked Tal, "What is the next time control?" "Control?" Tal instantly replied, "There is no control. It's a 'sudden death' control." Gufeld immediately offered a draw and Tal won the fourth game and the match.

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All-Union Championship of Spartak Sports Society in Leningrad in 1957: GM Eduard Gufeld achieved a winning endgame against the experienced master Anatoly Ufimtsev. A victory by Gufeld will ensure the champion's title. With 40 moves made, Gufeld decided to adjourn the game and would like to make his opponent realize the futility of further resistance. He asked the arbiter to give him an envelope but his request was met with silence. He repeated his request two more times before the arbiter said, "Your time ran out. The time control was 45 moves."

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Hastings International Congress: Elderly Russian Grandmaster Eduard Gufeld who always moved around the playing hall, could easily be recognized where he was because of the rustling of the bags he carried which contained varied items of East European chess goods he was seeking to sell.

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34th Soviet Championship: GM Eduard Gufeld lost a game against Aivars Gipslis and dreamed of the right move. Since that time, he always has a scoresheet under his pillow.

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When Eduard Gufeld caught sight of Anatoly Karpov for the first time, he said, "This little boy will never be a Grandmaster, he is too thin!" To which Efim Geller, standing beside him remarked, not without irony, "Well, of course everyone judges by his own standards, you, for for example, Edik became a grandmaster when your weight reached 100 kilograms."

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1985 U.S. Open in Hollywood: GM Joel Benjamin claimed GM Eduard Gufeld as the worst person he ever met in chess. In their last game, Joel said that Eduard asked the arbiter to tell him that he would not shake his hand.

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When GM Eduard Gufeld is in a good mood, he places the piece exactly in the center of the square but as soon as he is in doubt, the beauty of the geometrical proportions is disturbed and the pieces are practically thrown onto the board.

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GM Eduard Gufeld was a very temperamental person, he would sometimes violently undergo the agonies of defeat. Having lost one of his games against Mikhail Tal, he walked around the tournament hall continually mumbling in suppressed anger, "No, Tal is not a genius!" It went on for about ten minutes and settled calmly.

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During Fred Waitzkin's trip to the Soviet Union, GM Eduard Gufeld insisted to him that both Anatoly Karpov and Garry Kasparov were much stronger players than Bobby Fischer.

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GM Eduard Gufeld jestingly claimed that he is the World Champion in Chess by Telex, having won an experimental championship by telex for the USSR Team.

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In Skokie, Illinois, USA, GM Eduard Gufeld's lecture was such a big hit that the Mayor, in grateful appreciation of Gufeld's invaluable contribution to education through chess, conferred on him the title of Honorary Citizen of Skokie.

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GM Eduard Gufeld was once the Chairman of the FIDE Commission on Chess Art. He was instrumental in reviving the brilliancy prize in top tournaments. It was his contention that the real winner in a tournament is not the player who bags the top monetary prize for sporting results but to the one who played the most beautiful game.

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27th Soviet Championship Leningrad 1960: After five successive losses by GM Eduard Gufeld, he finally won his game against Boris Spassky in 34 moves!

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Saemisch Variation of the King's Indian Defence: When asked his opinion of this line, Eduard Gufeld, a keen fan of the g7-bishop and KID, once answered: "Asked the knight on g1."

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At the USSR Semi-Final in Beltsy, GM Eduard Gufeld, after resigning his game to Semion Palatnik, he stood up, turning to the players, arbiters and spectators, he loudly declared: "I will not shake the hand of the friend of a traitor to the Motherland!", having in mind Lev Alburt who also, like Palatnik, came from Odessa, and who a few months earlier had requested political asylum in Germany.

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At a leather factory in Seville, after an excursion a group of chess players was invited to buy goods at reduced prices. Eduard Gufeld demanded a discount, explaining his motives with perfect clarity: "You should understand that I can't do otherwise; never in my life have I bought things at the prices shown on the tag." When his colleagues received a small discount, in a shop where they went with Gufeld, it turned out that the main discount was for him, receiving a sheepskin coat for free.

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Before resigning a game, Eduard Gufeld sometimes made use of a last chance: he would place a piece - usually a queen or rook - on a square where it was undefended: if his opponent did not notice this, on the next move he himself would have his strongest piece taken or would be mated. To increase the effect, he could loudly shout: "Check!" This device could prove effective, especially if the opponent was in time trouble, and there was a chance he would instinctively move his king.

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According to GM Genna Sosonko, Eduard Gufeld would persistently call an isolated pawn "a pawn which has no friend", priding himself on his invention and repeating it, like the majority of his jokes, a hundred times.

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1993 Alushta Gufeld-Golubev: GM Mikhail Golubev related, "I am rather glad that I managed to meet such a colorful player as Gufeld over the board. He tried to offer me some apples during our game and immediately after the game ended, he started to tell everbody that he had created his new 'Gioconda'."

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1999 Los Angeles Western Class Championship Lakdawala-Gufeld Game: According to Cyrus Lakdawala in his book Play the London System, after Gufeld was mated, he demanded to the director that the mate didn't count and the original move before his take-back move be played. However, the director let the mate stand. At the end of the game, Gufeld yelled out his familiar battle cry whenever a director ruled against him: "This is not chess!"

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Priceless!! I have got to use that sometimes.

Another Gufeld specialty was the double or triple negative ("You never not understanding nothing about chess, my freeend!!").

danced around the table? talk about chess, like love, like music, has the power to make men happy, huh?

[Event "Las Vegas"]
[Site "National Open"]
[Date "1996.??.??"]
[Round "?"]
[White "Eduard Gufeld"]
[Black "G Fritcchie"]
[Result "1-0"]
[ECO "B90"]
[Annotator "David Borensztajn"]
[PlyCount "77"]

<GM Eduard Gufeld told a story from one of the Soviet championships at which he and GM Lev Polugaevsky had played. Lev offered a draw and then immediately noticed that he was in a winning position. Gufeld also noticed and jokingly remarked to the grandmasters present: "Lev has offered me a draw and he is now trying to convince me not to accept it.">

One of my recent tournament games, dedicated to my coach/trainer, GM Gufeld