Phony Benoni: "Hi there, and welcome to Championship Chess! I'm your host Al Petrov, and with me is our special color commentator direct from London, Howie Staunton!""Hi Al! Looks like a perfect day for chess here in Moscow."
"That's right, Howie. The temperature is a frigid -27 degrees, with blizzard warnings posted for the area. What could be better than sitting inside a nice cozy chess club watching two champions battle it out?"
"Nothing, Al! And here come our players now!"
"First, with the White pieces, it's Prince Sergey Semenovich Urusov!"
"Looking almost as impressive as his name."
"And with the Black pieces it's ... er ... ah ... Ben."
"That name doesn't bode well, Al. Especially when he's wearing an "I Love NN" button."
"Yes, Howie, I fear for his chances. But here we go-it's 1.e4, and we're steering into an Italian Game. Wait--what's this?"
"Good Heavens, the Evans!"
"Isn't that Morphy's favorite opening, Howie?"
"Who?"
"Well, Ben has accepted the pawn, and played the Ba5 variation. The Prince comes right at him, and Ben counters with ...d5. Wait--what's this?"
"A perfect en passant maneuver, Al!"
"Let's see that in slow motion replay, Howie!" Ben's pawn jumps to d5, but the Prince's e-pawn jumps in and yanks it off the board from behind."
"Always thrilling! The Prince is a great all-rounder, Al. This reminds me of my game against..."
"We'll have to get back to that later, Howie! The Prince has just delivered a check!"
"Yes, the over-under for first check was move 10, so this game is falling right into line and a lot of happy bettors are pocketing their ChessBucks. Ben blocks, but the Prince is piling on the pressure."
"And here's another check! Ben moves his king away, trying to escape the pins, and now follows with ...d5 trying to chase the bishop away. What's this? It's a sacrfice!"
"Yes, 16.Ba3 is thematic in this line of the Evans, Al. Black is caught in another pin, and has no time to take on c4 as 17.Bxe7+ would be murderous."
"Beautiful analysis, Howie. Ben is in full retreat now, and now tries 17...f6 to chase the knight away. What's that? It's another sacrifice!"
"Not much of one, Al; taking the knight allows mate in one."
"Yes, I heard the warning buzzer. Black tries to chase her away with 18...g6, but the Prince counters by another sacrifice with 19.Rxe7!"
"Beautiful shot, Al! If 19...Nxe7 20.Qh6+ Ke8 21.Bf7#."
"Yes, Ben is definitely rattled. He's fingering his NN button for inspiration, and seems to have found it--he takes the queen!"
"Mate in two, Al!"
"And the Prince finishes with a flourish, Howie! The crowd is going wild, as confetti covers the board to celebrate checkmate!"
"Great game, Al!"
"Here come the Prince. Prince! Prince! Any comments on the game."
"Well, I must thank my opponent for playing such a great game. It was tough overcoming his resistance; I don't often have to go for over twenty moves."
"Thanks, Prince; gracious as always. And here's the loser. Any comments on the game, Ben?"
"Rats."