It's my outside-the-box year. Or out of the tree they made the box from.

Matthew 4:19
And he saith unto them, Follow me, and I will make you Fischers of men.

Exodus 3:3
And Moses said, I will now turn aside, and see this great sight, why the bush is not Byrne.

D Byrne vs Fischer, 1956

Genesis 37:3
Now Israel loved Joseph more than all his children, because he was the son of his old age: and he made him a Kotov many colors.

Kotov vs Bronstein, 1944

1 Corinthians 7:29
But this I say, brethren, the time is Short.
Short vs Kasparov, 1993

Ecclesiastes 12:11
The words of the wise are as goads, and as nails fastened by the masters of assemblies, which are given from one Sheppard.

Meanwhile:

Gen 27:21
And Isaac said unto Jacob, Come near, I pray thee, that I may feel thee, my son, whether thou [be] my very son Esau Orr Knott.

"This promising young man, who had obtained the coveted Shortbread Award to study chess technique in Bolivia, ended up by consigning to the flames - like Hernan Cortes before him - both chessmen and chessboard ..."

- 'On Universal Theatre', from <Chronicles of Bustos Domecq> by Jorge Luis Borges and Adolfo Bioy-Casares.

En passant, as true Domecqistas who believe in the significance of the insignificant, we note the pleasing synchrony between the subject of awards, the distantly chessic name 'Casares', and the week that's in it.

'Hasta la Siesta', as they say in Buenos Aires, a city of fine airs and better graces.

Gracias.

Some people never cease to amaze. In the battle of wits....

World events, eh? For a moment I thought the Troop might intervene and cause the Lifemeister to sweep the awards ... I could play the Alec Guinness character in Bridge on the River Kwai, crying "what have I done?" before collapsing on the detonator.

But our boy's typical myopic self-centredness has put the kibosh on that. If he *wants* one, he ain't gettin' any ... will be the main reaction. I think.

Chess is a feudal game in any case ... all that dying to protect the sacred majesty of the King. It can still be amusing when its players go feudal and expect droit de seigneur.

And that perfect nitwit who came up with the <Hobbit Joan of Arc> image would be drummed out of a convention of village idiots. I think, for some reason, of a Gaucho Marx, sipping maté cut with bay leaves and poisoned laurel.

Any other recent events I should form an opinion on, or am I sufficiently incendiary as things stand? It has been put to me - rather strongly, by a very sane and rational friend - that people actually *read* this stuff...

I think I've seen the same phenomenon at work in Dear Sprog, the new leader of North Korea. He has the puzzled, somewhat stunned look of a guy who has been repeatedly dropped on his head, and been told that he's landed on his feet.

<The difference is that everyone else has to *believe* him.>

It couldn't possibly be a request to drop the friendly abbreviations ('Ohio' is a river not in Africa, and 'OCF' is an Outsider Containment Facility) in favor of the full handle.

We *know* that you're a chess fan ... or were in the past. It's possible that prolonged exposure to other 'fans' has shaken your resolve.

My rule of thumb is that fans of the game itself are less likely to be bonkers than fans of particular players.

A Ker vs P Wang, 2003

"Why, that's brilliant, Professor. I think you've nailed the motives of that charging rhino. And nationalists, of course."

"Just so, Cynthia. You can step on a rock or step on the gas, but don't you step on my blue suede shoes."

"Uh, why not?"

<I could play the Alec Guinness character in Bridge on the River Kwai, crying "what have I done?" before collapsing on the detonator.

But our boy's typical myopic self-centredness has put the kibosh on that. If he *wants* one, he ain't gettin' any ... will be the main reaction. I think.>

Nope. AJ will win this year's Best Analyst title. And he would - err, will - have, just the same, if you hadn't nominated him, because then the BW would have.

I had seen that coming over two months ago, which is why I didn't care to take a stance regarding the non-English poster analyst "problem" - I knew it was never going to be an issue this year. :p

And frankly, as complete and utter a farce as the Caissars have become, I'm quite looking forward to that particular part - just the reactions of the Bandar-Log alone should be hilarious. ;D

"What have I done?"

*collapses on dummy detonator*

Commandos hit real detonator and blow up bridge.

*theme tune*

"Iffler, 'ad only got one ball
Gurning, 'ad two but they were small
Im'lah, 'ad sumfing sim'lah
And Goh-Bolz had no balls at all"

Apparently the song was sung in the original Kwai screenplay. The producer found it offensive and ensured it was merely whistled.

Though I can vouch for the fact that even schoolboys in far off Oirland knew the words.

I even thought he'd begun to develop a sense of humour, or maybe I've just been numbed into submission by those convoluted Dickensian sentences with unusual tenses and the vocabulary of 'The Ladybird First Chess Book' (ages 3-4).

"I saw, upon my having returned here to this page, that White had actually played 29.0-0-0, a move which I had not earlier considered. If I had earlier considered 29.0-0-0 my conclusion may well have been that it may be a strong move. Since I had not considered it, I considered 29.0-0, which may also have been a strong move, but which White did not play. If White had played this move, my analysis had reached the point of thinking that 29.0-0 may be a strong move, though the alternative 29.0-0-0 takes the King to the queenside, which may be on the other side of the board..."

Basta. Zzzzzzz already. Though writing like that is strangely soothing. Maybe I should try journalism sometime.

Anyhoo, I thought this - and then I thought what I said on the Nom Paper. For all his faults, AJ does actually analyse chess games.

Weather permitting.

I'm aware of, um, such euphemisms as "Pointing Percy at the Porcelain" which might conceivably -- or inconceivably -- put Healey in the same onanistic category as Wang & Ker. But it seems a terribly metaphoric way to spill seed in a cultural desert.

Maybe 'Chlorch' is Nederlandic for 'Captain Kirk'? Church? The Lorch is my Sheppard?

<And the Lord did smite them with flameys, and did grind them to dust with His Healey...>

That one might be from the Book of Mormon, actually. Book 517, chapter 83, where Jesus reaches Texas and realizes the nearest Good Samaritan is 7000 miles away.