Sargon: <HeMateMe: hmm....Syd Barrett, composer of <Arnold Lane>. This would have been a nice chance to sneak in a Pink Floyd pun,
Nah—we needed to maintain the Independence Day theme. The USA was, of course, “born” on the 4th of July, and this was one of only two games in the entire database which was 1) played on July 4th, and 2) featured an American defeating a Brit—the other game being M Traldi vs J Quinn, 2001.
I also wanted to take this opportunity to commend you, Private First Sass <HeMateMe>. Ever since your enlistment into the <Army of Pun>, you have displayed punmatched poise and courage—often in the face of heavy enemy punfire.
Accordingly, I—<Punmaster General Sargon>—hereby issue you a field promotion to the rank of Punnery Sergeant, with the grate expectation that you will rapidly ascend the irearchy to one day serve in our most elite corps, <The Puntouchables>.
Congratulations on your promotion, <Punnery Sergeant HeMateMe>.
There are also several other punslingers who have rendered meritorious service, and their valuable contributions have not gone punrecognized—consequently, I will be announcing additional promotions ASAP at Sargon’s Punhouse: Sargon chessforum