morfishine: Pun Investigator: “Excuse me sir, there's another victim”Pun Counselor: “Dear God, thats three in two weeks, go on”
Pun Investigator: “Today, its the same pattern we've seen over the past six months; but more importantly, my behavioral analysis team has concluded...(pause)...has concluded...(pause, winces)...
Pun Counselor: “Take your time, its ok”
Pun Investigator: “Well, last weeks attack, you remember the Higgs affair, was gruesome beyond description, but today's attack was horrific in the extreme. Sir, we have no doubt, there is a Serial Pun Killer operating in the local vicinity and probably has been for decades, and whats worse, the pace is picking up”
Pun Counselor: “Jesus, continue”
Pun Investigator: “The pattern is the same, one simple-minded name change with elementary rhyme and WHAM, thats it. Look, you remember the “Latchkey kid” massacre some weeks ago, where the game title references the acronym KID, but it stops right there; there is no reference to the game, much less to chess in general. There's no reference to the location or even the opponents for crying out loud. My God, we know what a Latchkey Kid is but there's just no connection, no reference, just nothing...and then POOF!, our suspect is gone, vanishing in the mist, waiting to strike again. The whole region is terrified and up in arms”
Pun Counselor: “Have you been able to create a list of suspects?”
Pun Investigator: “Well, yes and no; From today's victim, “Friendly Neighborhood Swiderman” my anlaysis team was able to quickly wrap up the review and conclude, just like the Higgs affair, there is no pun and we are dealing with simple rhyme reference from someone between 7-9 years old, or being in the 2rd or 3th grade with a corresponding IQ of between 69 – 81. Either that, or the suspect is between 35-55 years old, probably male, who is mentally challenged with the same IQ range OR, and my team has been exploring this possibility, the suspect is pretending to be of lower mental capacity attempting to throw us off.
As of today, over 14,000 suspects remain uninterviewed or researched, its very tedious”
Pun Counselor: “14,000? We'll be at this til doomsday”
Pun Investigator: “Well, I have another team created under “operations” which is an offshoot of 'Behavioral Active' and similar to 'Profiling'. Its a small team that doesn't have a name per se. Its purpose is to pin point similar patterns from each victim with a view to identifying specific action purposes that may give us a clue that the Killer is about to strike again. Other teams focus strictly on the Killer. This team focuses on net results of the Killers actions.”
Pun Counselor: “Interesting, anything promising so far?”
Pun Investigator: “Nothing that you can file charges on Counselor. We were hoping you had made headway into our clearances”
*****
PS: All this game really needs is <offramp>'s delightful analysis from 3 years ago. It is wonderful indeed!
*****
Kibitzing
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