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ya French Great Games Chosen Worlds
Compiled by fredthebear

Compiled by ALL, 73 games

French Defense great games from White and Black points of view.

* World plays the French by ughaibu (54 games)
Game Collection: World champions play the French

* Masterful: Game Collection: FRENCH DEFENSE MASTERPIECES

* Therio what? Game Collection: Theriomorphic French Games

"It is more blessed to give than to receive." Acts 20:35

"Life is like a chess game. Every decision, just like every move, has consequences. Therefore, decide wisely!" ― Susan Polgar

"When people insult and disrespect you, the best revenge is to continue to win, and win, and win…." ― Susan Polgar

"The mind has no restrictions. The only restriction is what you believe you cannot do. So go ahead and challenge yourself to do one thing every day that scares you." ― Susan Polgar

* Checkmate brevities: Game Collection: Art of Checkmate

* Crouch's book: Game Collection: Chess Secrets - Attackers (Crouch)

Below is a Morphy acrostic by C.V. Grinfield from page 334 of the Chess Player's Chronicle, 1861: Mightiest of masters of the chequer'd board,
Of early genius high its boasted lord!
Rising in youth's bright morn to loftiest fame, Princeliest of players held with one acclaim;
Host in thyself – all-conquering in fight: – Yankees exult! – in your great champion's might.

The Dancing Bear
by James Russell Lowell

Far over Elf-land poets stretch their sway,
And win their dearest crowns beyond the goal
Of their own conscious purpose; they control
With gossamer threads wide-flown our fancy's play, And so our action. On my walk to-day,
A wallowing bear begged clumsily his toll,
When straight a vision rose of Atta Troll,
And scenes ideal witched mine eyes away.
'Merci, Mossieu!' the astonished bear-ward cried, Grateful for thrice his hope to me, the slave
Of partial memory, seeing at his side
A bear immortal. The glad dole I gave
Was none of mine; poor Heine o'er the wide
Atlantic welter stretched it from his grave.

* Learn these and burn them!

* Tactics by a different Gary:

The Bird Wounded By An Arrow

A bird, with plumed arrow shot,
In dying case deplored her lot:
"Alas!" she cried, "the anguish of the thought!
This ruin partly by myself was brought!
Hard-hearted men! from us to borrow
What wings to us the fatal arrow!
But mock us not, you cruel race,
For you must often take our place."

The work of half the human brothers
Is making arms against the others.

<Alireza Firouzja (Persian: علی‌رضا فیروزجا, Persian pronunciation: æliːɾeˈzɑː fiːɾuːzˈdʒɑː; born 18 June 2003) is an Iranian and French chess grandmaster. Firouzja is the youngest ever 2800-rated player, beating the previous record set by Magnus Carlsen by more than five months.

A chess prodigy, Firouzja won the Iranian Chess Championship at age 12 and earned the Grandmaster title at 14. At 16, Firouzja became the second youngest 2700-rated player and won a silver medal at the 2019 World Rapid Chess Championship. In November 2021, at 18, he won the FIDE Grand Swiss tournament and an individual gold medal at the European Team Chess Championship. He won a bronze medal at the 2021 World Blitz Chess Championship. In 2022, Firouzja won the Grand Chess Tour.

Firouzja left the Iranian Chess Federation in 2019 because of the country's longstanding policy against competing with Israeli players.4 He played under the FIDE flag until mid-2021, when he became a French citizen and began representing France, where he had already been living.> — Wikipedia

Q: What do you call someone who draws funny pictures of cars? A: A car-toonist.

Q: What do you call a magician on a plane?
A: A flying sorcerer.

Q: What do you call fruit playing the guitar?
A: A jam session.

Q: What do you call the shoes that all spies wear? A: Sneakers.

Q: What do you call something you can serve, but never eat? A: A volleyball.

Q: What did the alien say to the garden?
A: Take me to your weeder.

Q: What do you call a skeleton who went out in freezing temperatures? A: A numb skull.

Q: What do you call a farm that grows bad jokes? A: Corny.

roy zev2270 toy stor haz a song pertning t2 stnky fshy wshd ashore

from the simpleton poet:

Roses are red.
Violets are blue.

Chess is creative.
And a journey too.

Good in the morning.
Or just before bed.

Play cheater_1, with engine.
Or OTB, all in your head.

patZer freeescree researcher troll manipulator fish Al Shawpton Reverse Messie Jackson

pomp·​ous ˈpäm-pəs
Synonyms of pompous
1 : excessively elevated or ornate
pompous rhetoric
2 : having or exhibiting self-importance : ARROGANT

pre·​ten·​tious pri-ˈten(t)-shəs
Synonyms of pretentious
1 : characterized by pretension: such as
a : making usually unjustified or excessive claims (as of value or standing) the pretentious fraud who assumes a love of culture that is alien to him —Richard Watts
b : expressive of affected, unwarranted, or exaggerated importance, worth, or stature pretentious language
pretentious houses

Are you on the perhidious payroll? Take a good long look at your ridiculous posts nutcake. You've got diarrhea of the mouth and spit for brains. Then ask perv what hypocrite means.

A piece of cake:

* History of Chess:

* Happy Days!

* Chess Origins Until Today:

* Rules:

* Juniors might ask:

* Common Checkmate Patterns:

* IM Levy Rozman video on mistakes:

* Freddy's fast list of novice/club player mistakes: - Never bothered to read a beginners chess book. Not comfortable with N moves. - Lacks knowledge of the rules of chess. Doesn't understand stalemate. - Worries about his opponent's higher rating and expects to lose. Expects to defeat a lower rated opponent mainly because he plays the Sicilian defense. - Early moves along the a- and h-files are unwise. Should move a pawn to let the bishop or queen out. White should form a center pawn duo or queen pawn triangle if allowed. - Didn't develop all four knights and bishops toward the center early in the game. - Didn't castle the king two squares away from the center battle. King safety is paramount! Or, illegally castled the king after having already moved it. Or, moved the rook first, and the king second. - Becomes overly perturbed if his king loses the right to castle. - Has bad hair in eyes like Hans Niemann.
- Forgot to turn his cell phone off beforehand.
- It's touch-move. Never hover a hand over any piece. Sit on your hands and think. - Forgets to punch his clock after moving. Probably hasn't played enough speed chess in person to get in the proper habit of move-punch the clock. - Advanced the f-pawn without good reason, exposing his king. In the vast majority of openings, the king's knight belongs on Nf3 and Nf6 rather quickly. - Moves the same piece over and over while others sleep on the back rank. - Lost the queen without full compensation (three minor pieces), and eventually the game. - Never learned a model game how to win without a queen. - Avoids trading queens at any cost. Falls apart mentally without a queen. - Does not see what the opponent is aiming at, or count how many times. Ask "What is your opponent aiming at? Are you in check? Will he give check or capture or pile on the next turn? What should you do about that?" Sometimes one can allow the opponent to make the check or capture next turn and then respond accordingly, and sometimes such must be prevented from happening in the first place. - Always runs from a fight (threat): moves the king to get out of every check, moves the piece to avoid every capture. Never stops to think about interposing between or capturing/pinning the attacker, or temporarily ignoring the capture threat to make his own stronger attack. - Will guard a unit, but just once. Never purposefully overprotects a unit. - Made too many pawn moves spread side-to-side like Pickett's charge. Instead, use pieces off the back rank -- pieces have more speed/power than pawns, and pieces can retreat from trouble if necessary! Flank pawns can sit still and watch the action ahead of them, or march against the opposing castled king! - Failed to seize an open line w/long range pieces where the pawn has been traded off or moved ahead, creating a gap for a piece to get through. - Afraid to attack. Stays on his end of the board and waits. Needs to read Chessersizes, The Winning Way, and Power Mates by Pandolfini to help cure this problem. - Does not recognize pins, especially his pinned pawn or knight defender that no longer protects. It's dangerous to align two units that do not protect each other. - Does not recognize overworked pawns that guard in two different directions, having two different duties. - Does not recognize that BxN, PxB creates doubled, isolated pawns. Capture-Recapture, and then what happens? - Never selected a specific target. Should aim into the center, aim at/through to K-Q-R, and/or units/squares not protected by a pawn, or not protected at all. - Makes useless spite checks without a good follow-up. - Misses queen to the flank check and fork of a loose minor piece because he's been taught not to bring the queen out early. - Moving too quickly (just one thought) without considering other possibilities. - Forgets to look for checks & K cut-offs, captures, piling on/forming batteries & crossfires, unprotected units, equally protected units, piling on/forming batteries & crossfires, double attacks - especially against more valuable pieces, creating/protecting passed pawns, blockading weak pawns/occupying holes. - Follows the bad advice of chess trolls that don't know beans from bananas. - Forgets to ask "If I do this move here, what will my opponent do next?" - Forgets the rate of exchange, and sacrifices his own men without good reason! (So badly wants to make captures that he trades a piece for pawn for no other reason.) - Always recaptures automatically without looking for a sting in the tail. - Unwilling to sacrifice the exchange when it would remove the key defender. - Didn't make luft for his king to escape. Allowed his back rank coverage to get outnumbered or suckered off the back rank. - Never learned the elementary mating patterns or pawn endgames. - Does not advance his king in the endgame transition. Does not gain the opposition. - Loses focus on the game and watches his friends. - Playing the first move one saw, or the move they planned on the previous move. Ask "What about this move here? Was it any good? Which is better?" - Automatically promotes to a new queen without considering the consequences. - Stops taking notation. Does not review his games afterward. - Resigns too soon. Accepting a draw in a winning position might be even worse, but most beginners don't fall for this.

* Chessopolis:

* Charlie Rose interviews Magnus Carlsen:

* Fred's podcast:

* Fischer still had IT in spades:


* Why We Play documentary:

"The wind cannot defeat a tree with strong roots." — The Revenant

"As long as you can still grab a breath, you fight." — The Revenant

"In the code of the lawless west, a horse thief pays with his life."

"He Burrow is everything we want to be about," Coach Zac Taylor said. "He's a hard worker, he cares about his teammates, he cares about where he's from, he cares about his fanbase, I think he represents us the right way. We take a lot of pride in having Joe Burrow as our quarterback."

"It's not like checkers. Every chess piece has a life of its own." ― John Brooks

"To have a knight planted in your game at K6 is worse than a rusty nail in your knee." ― Efim Bogoljubov

MrQmason blogged:
"Play over tactical puzzles...... play tournaments at all time controls.....TEACH people how to over Grandmaster games..... BOTH tactical and positional grandmasters......and just have FUN !!"

maoro pizzagalli replied:
"Every chess player that got good at chess got their ass whooped."

"Life is not a matter of holding good cards, but sometimes, playing a poor hand well." ― Jack London

"Man shall not live by bread alone, but by every word that proceeds from the mouth of God." ― Jesus Christ

"Life is like a game in which God shuffles the cards, the devil deals them and we have to play the trumps." ― Yugoslavian Proverb

"All the world's a stage, and all the men and women merely players: they have their exits and their entrances; and one man in his time plays many parts, his acts being seven ages." ― William Shakespeare

"In life, as in chess, forethought wins." ― Charles Buxton

The 20-40-40 rule in chess is a rule for players rated below 2000 that states 20% of your study should be dedicated to openings, 40% to the middlegame, and 40% to the endgame.

A piece of cake:

Dionisyus1: I had basil on the pub's potage du jour yesterday. Soup herb!

"White can always play differently; in which case he merely loses differently." — Bobby Fischer

"If you are patient in one moment of anger, you will escape a hundred days of sorrow." — Ancient Chinese Proverb

"An eye for an eye will only make the whole world blind." — Mahatma Gandhi

"A man is but the product of his thoughts. What he thinks, he becomes." — Mahatma Gandhi

"Never be bullied into silence, never allow yourself to be made a victim. Accept no one's definition of your life, define yourself." — Robert Frost

"Our greatest glory is not in never failing, but in rising every time we fail." — Confucius

A person who never made a mistake never tried anything new." — Albert Einstein

"Happiness can be found, even in the darkest of times, if one only remembers to turn on the light." — JK Rowling

"Not all those who wander are lost." — J. R. R. Tolkien

"Twenty years from now you will be more disappointed by the things you didn't do than by the ones you did do." — Mark Twain

"As we express our gratitude, we must never forget that the highest appreciation is not to utter words but to live by them." — John F. Kennedy

"Great spirits have always encountered violent opposition from mediocre minds. The mediocre mind is incapable of understanding the man who refuses to bow blindly to conventional prejudices and chooses instead to express his opinions courageously and honestly." — Albert Einstein

"Darkness cannot drive out darkness; only light can do that. Hate cannot drive out hate; only love can do that." — Martin Luther King, Jr.

"We must develop and maintain the capacity to forgive. He who is devoid of the power to forgive is devoid of the power to love. There is some good in the worst of us and some evil in the best of us. When we discover this, we are less prone to hate our enemies." — Martin Luther King, Jr.

"The secret of change is to focus all of your energy not on fighting the old, but on building the new." — Socrates

"Live as if you were to die tomorrow. Learn as if you were to live forever." — Mahatma Gandhi

"Great minds discuss ideas; average minds discuss events; small minds discuss people." — Eleanor Roosevelt

"In the end, it's not the years in your life that count. It's the life in your years." — Abraham Lincoln

"Life is ten percent what happens to you and ninety percent how you respond to it." — Charles Swindoll

"Our prime purpose in this life is to help others. And if you can't help them, at least don't hurt them." — Dalai Lama

"Be more concerned with your character than your reputation, because your character is what you really are, while your reputation is merely what others think you are." — John Wooden

"Is it so bad, then, to be misunderstood? Pythagoras was misunderstood, and Socrates, and Jesus, and Luther, and Copernicus, and Galileo, and Newton, and every pure and wise spirit that ever took flesh. To be great is to be misunderstood." — Ralph Waldo Emerson

from the simpleton poet:

Roses are red.
Violets are blue.

Chess is creative.
And a journey too.

Good in the morning.
Or just before bed.

Play cheater_1, with engine.
Or OTB, all in your head.

Defend what's yours.

"The cat has nine lives: three for playing, three for straying, three for staying." — English Proverb

"We do not stop playing because we grow old; we grow old because we stop playing." — Author Unknown

Mark Lyles Blogged:
"MY SYSTEM, by Aaron Nimzovitch and the Polgar book. Study these two for ten years or more--oh, you may want to look at Tal too. The rest are footnotes. LOL (Obviously my opinion.) THE IDEAS BEHIND THE CHESS OPENINGS BY RUEBEN FINE IS A CLASSIC--if you can find this book buy it--never loan this out."

The Tide Rises, the Tide Falls
Henry Wadsworth Longfellow - 1807-1882

The tide rises, the tide falls,
The twilight darkens, the curlew calls;
Along the sea-sands damp and brown
The traveller hastens toward the town,
And the tide rises, the tide falls.

Darkness settles on roofs and walls,
But the sea, the sea in darkness calls;
The little waves, with their soft, white hands,
Efface the footprints in the sands,
And the tide rises, the tide falls.

The morning breaks; the steeds in their stalls
Stamp and neigh, as the hostler calls;
The day returns, but nevermore
Returns the traveller to the shore,
And the tide rises, the tide falls.

"Keep your eyes on the stars, and your feet on the ground." ― Theodore Roosevelt

"It's not how you start that matters, it's how you finish."

"What lies behind us and what lies before us are tiny matters compared to what lies within us." — Ralph Waldo Emerson

"If you are patient in one moment of anger, you will escape a hundred days of sorrow." – Ancient Chinese Proverb

"An eye for an eye will only make the whole world blind." — Mahatma Gandhi

"A man is but the product of his thoughts. What he thinks, he becomes." — Mahatma Gandhi

"The queen is a difference maker, in close or from distance. If she's available, put her to work before resigning. She just might deliver a knockout blow." — Fredthebear

"It is the mark of an educated mind to be able to entertain a thought without accepting it." – Aristotle

Why don't people play more hide-and-seek? Because good players are hard to find.

"Prepare for the worst but hope for the best." -- The Wondrous Tale of Alroy by Benjamin Disraeli, published in 1833

Virgil's Aeneid: "Fortune favors the bold."

'No man is an island' was coined by the English metaphysical poet John Donne (1572-1631).

"You cannot make an omelette without breaking eggs" -- Robert Louis Stevenson, 1897.

"Life is what you make it: If you snooze, you lose; and if you snore, you lose more." — Phyllis George

Galatians 6:7 in the Bible "Be not deceived, God is not mocked: for whatsoever a man soweth, that shall he also reap."

"The lad is enjoying his chess. Leave him alone." — Sally Simpson

Why did the computer hate commuting to work? It had a hard drive.

When does a dad joke become a dad joke? When it becomes apparent.

I only catch cold on weekdays. Probably because I have a weekend immune system.

How do you know when a computer is on a diet? It quits eating after only one byte.

Did you hear about the ski trip? It started off fine but went downhill fast.

What's the best thing about Switzerland? I don't know, but the flag's a plus.

Why did the invisible man turn down the job offer? He couldn't see himself doing it.

Why did the elephant leave the circus? It was sick of working for peanuts.

Why was the math book down in the dumps? It had a lot of problems.

Two fish are in a tank. One says to the other, "Any idea how to drive this thing?"

Did you hear about the editor who couldn't stop collecting magazines? She had issues.

Did you hear about the broken guitar for sale? You can buy it with no strings attached.

How does a lumberjack know how many trees he's cut down? He keeps a log.

What happened to the archeologist who lost her job? Her career was in ruins.

Did you hear about the tree that went into banking? It started its own branch.

Why did the woman throw her bills out the window? She wanted to send them via airmail.

Jimmy Bartle used to have an addiction to the hokey pokey, but then he turned it around.

I don't like shopping centers. Once you've seen one, you've seen the mall.

Did you hear about the mathematician who's afraid of negative numbers? He'll stop at nothing to avoid them.

Why do we tell actors to "break a leg?" Because every play has a cast.

Helvetica and Times New Roman walk into a bar.
"Get out of here!" shouts the bartender. "We don't serve your type."

Yesterday I saw a guy spill all his Scrabble letters on the road. I asked him, "What's the word on the street?"

A woman in labor suddenly shouted, "Shouldn't! Wouldn't! Couldn't! Didn't! Can't!" "Don't worry," said the doc. "Those are just contractions."

A bear walks into a bar and says, "Give me a whiskey and … cola." "Why the big pause?" asks the bartender. The bear shrugged. "I'm not sure; I was born with them."

Did you hear about the actor who fell through the floorboards? He was just going through a stage

Did you hear about the claustrophobic astronaut? He just needed a little space.

A man tells his doctor, "Doc, help me. I'm addicted to Twitter!" The doctor replies, "Sorry, I don't follow you …"

Why don't Calculus majors throw house parties? Because you should never drink and derive.

What do you call a parade of rabbits hopping backwards? A receding hare-line.

What does Charles Dickens keep in his spice rack? The best of thymes, the worst of thymes.

What's the different between a cat and a comma? A cat has claws at the end of paws; A comma is a pause at the end of a clause.

What did the Tin Man say when he got run over by a steamroller? "Curses! Foil again!"

What did the bald man exclaim when he received a comb for a present? Thanks— I'll never part with it!

What did the Buddhist say to the hot dog vendor? Make me one with everything.

What did the shark say when he ate the clownfish? This tastes a little funny.

Why can't you hear a pterodactyl go to the bathroom? Because the "P" is silent.

Why did the frog take the bus to work today?
His car got toad away.

What did the buffalo say when his son left for college? Bison.

What is an astronaut's favorite part on a computer? The space bar.

Why did the yogurt go to the art exhibition?
Because it was cultured.

What do you call an apology written in dots and dashes? Re-Morse code.

Why did the hipster burn his mouth?
He drank the coffee before it was cool.

Once my dog ate all the Scrabble tiles.
He kept leaving little messages around the house.

I told my wife she was drawing her eyebrows too high. She looked at me surprised.

Did you hear about the two people who stole a calendar? They each got six months.

Why is it annoying to eat next to basketball players? They dribble all the time.

What breed of dog can jump higher than buildings? Any dog, because buildings can't jump.

How many times can you subtract 10 from 100?
Once. The next time you would be subtracting 10 from 90.

I got my daughter a fridge for her birthday.
I can't wait to see her face light up when she opens it.

What do you call a rooster staring at a pile of lettuce? A chicken sees a salad.

Why did the nurse need a red pen at work?
In case she needed to draw blood.

Why did it get so hot in the baseball stadium after the game? All of the fans left.

Why did the math textbook visit the guidance counselor? It needed help figuring out its problems.

Want to hear a construction joke?
Oh never mind, I'm still working on that one.

What did one traffic light say to the other?
Stop looking! I'm changing!

What do you call a boomerang that doesn't come back? A stick!

What starts with E, ends with E, and has only 1 letter in it? Envelope.

Why are skeletons so calm?
Because nothing gets under their skin.

Why is England the wettest country?
Because so many kings and queens have been reigning there.

Did you hear about the kidnapping at school?
It's okay. He woke up.

What are shark's two most favorite words?
Man overboard!

Why are ghosts such bad liarz?
Because they are eazy to see through.

Why does Humpty Dumpty love autumn?
Because Humpty Dumpty had a great fall.

* B23-B25: Game Collection: Sicilian Closed / Grand Prix Attack

Have you ever been camping? It’s intense.
V Goldfarb vs Alekhine, 1909 
(C01) French, Exchange, 27 moves, 0-1

Why should the number 288 never be mentioned? It’s two gross.
Capablanca vs Alekhine, 1927 
(C01) French, Exchange, 43 moves, 0-1

I’d tell you a pizza joke, but it’s probably too cheesy.
X Zhao vs X Bu, 2005 
(C01) French, Exchange, 33 moves, 0-1

Don't explain puns to kleptomaniacs. They take things literally
N Delgado Ramirez vs V Akobian, 2005
(C01) French, Exchange, 44 moves, 0-1

I try not to tell dad jokes, but when I do, he thinks it's funy
Movsesian vs M Gurevich, 2000 
(C02) French, Advance, 35 moves, 0-1

Why did the gym close down? It just didn’t work out!
Sveshnikov vs V Moskalenko, 1987 
(C02) French, Advance, 46 moves, 0-1

What did one volcano say to the other? I lava you.
W Kelleher vs V Kovacevic, 2011 
(C02) French, Advance, 32 moves, 0-1

I poured root beer in a square glass. Now I just have beer.
Liu Shilan / Xie Jun vs Short / Hou, 2014 
(C03) French, Tarrasch, 26 moves, 0-1

What type of sandals do frogs wear? Open-toad!
Adams vs Short, 2011 
(C03) French, Tarrasch, 71 moves, 0-1

I have a fear of speed bumps. But I am slowly getting over it.
Hao Yuan Wang vs Shulman, 2002
(C03) French, Tarrasch, 28 moves, 0-1

Did you hear about the kidnapping? They woke her up.
I Schneider vs Shulman, 2007
(C03) French, Tarrasch, 28 moves, 0-1

Why aren’t koalas actual bears? They don’t meet koalafications.
Van der Wiel vs Korchnoi, 1993 
(C03) French, Tarrasch, 49 moves, 0-1

Two artists had an art contest. It ended in a draw!
B Bannink vs S Williams, 2004
(C03) French, Tarrasch, 33 moves, 0-1

I wanted to take a bath, but decided to leave it where it is.
S Garcia Martinez vs Korchnoi, 1969
(C05) French, Tarrasch, 49 moves, 0-1

Why avoid artistic sock puppets? They tend to be sketchy.
Kudrin vs Korchnoi, 1984 
(C05) French, Tarrasch, 25 moves, 0-1

Bud asked me to put the dog out. I didn’t know it was on fire.
Karpov vs A J Mestel, 1984 
(C05) French, Tarrasch, 61 moves, 1-0

Where do you find a cow with no legs? Right where you left it.
Tal vs Timman, 1985 
(C05) French, Tarrasch, 44 moves, 1-0

What do you call zanzibar's pencil with two erasers? Pointless.
J Bednarski vs Petrosian, 1968 
(C05) French, Tarrasch, 30 moves, 0-1

Can February march? No, but April may.
Kupreichik vs M Gurevich, 1985 
(C05) French, Tarrasch, 66 moves, 0-1

When is a pool safe for diving? It deep ends.
P Ostojic vs Botvinnik, 1969 
(C05) French, Tarrasch, 61 moves, 0-1

What did one hat say to other? You wait here. I’ll go on ahead.
Adorjan vs V Kovacevic, 1982
(C05) French, Tarrasch, 44 moves, 0-1

I once read a book about glue. I couldn’t put it down.
E Kengis vs R Djurhuus, 1991 
(C05) French, Tarrasch, 20 moves, 0-1

How do you keep a bagel from getting away? Put lox on it.
P Carlsson vs Timman, 2007 
(C05) French, Tarrasch, 26 moves, 0-1

You should never eat a clock from nok. It’s too time-consuming.
J Emms vs S Williams, 2001 
(C05) French, Tarrasch, 37 moves, 1-0

Where does the sheep get his hair cut? The baa baa shop!
Chiburdanidze vs J de la Villa Garcia, 1990
(C05) French, Tarrasch, 29 moves, 0-1

What do you call a cow with bad manners? Beef jerky.
Reshevsky vs Vaganian, 1976 
(C05) French, Tarrasch, 28 moves, 0-1

How do you count cows? With a cowculator.
V Liberzon vs Korchnoi, 1978 
(C05) French, Tarrasch, 32 moves, 0-1

Did you hear about the car with logs for wheels? It wooden go.
L Zinn vs Uhlmann, 1968 
(C07) French, Tarrasch, 41 moves, 0-1

Why was six afraid of seven? Because seven ate nine.
M Vavulin vs Morozevich, 2014 
(C07) French, Tarrasch, 37 moves, 0-1

What did one playing card say to the other? I can’t deal with U
Keres vs Botvinnik, 1948 
(C07) French, Tarrasch, 72 moves, 0-1

What do you call a train carrying bubblegum? A chew-chew train.
Fedorchuk vs M Gurevich, 2010 
(C07) French, Tarrasch, 40 moves, 0-1

Did you hear about the broken hearing aid? Wait, what?
Kramnik vs Bareev, 2004 
(C10) French, 77 moves, 0-1

What kind of exercise do lazy people do? Diddly-squats.
Akash G vs Caruana, 2013 
(C11) French, 41 moves, 0-1

What kind of birds eat at the deli? Bagels. Dzindzichashvili
Sutovsky vs Morozevich, 1998 
(C11) French, 26 moves, 0-1

What do you call a woman with one leg? Eileen.
Topalov vs Morozevich, 1999 
(C11) French, 31 moves, 0-1

Why didn’t the elf pay his rent? He was a little short.
Anand vs Morozevich, 2005 
(C11) French, 27 moves, 1/2-1/2

What do you call a magic dog? A labracadabrador.
Nunn vs Timman, 1989
(C11) French, 68 moves, 0-1

Why shouldn’t you eat clowns? They taste funny.
Kamsky vs Ding Liren, 2011 
(C11) French, 40 moves, 0-1

What’s Forrest Gump’s password? 1Forrest1.
Sax vs Andersson, 1988
(C11) French, 51 moves, 0-1

Why did the roofer go to the doctor? He had shingles.
F Jenni vs Korchnoi, 2001 
(C12) French, McCutcheon, 28 moves, 0-1

Why do bees have sticky hair? Because they use honeycombs.
N Grigoriev vs Alekhine, 1915 
(C12) French, McCutcheon, 25 moves, 0-1

Why do barbers make good drivers? They know a lot of short cuts
M Czerniak vs V Kovacevic, 1969
(C12) French, McCutcheon, 64 moves, 0-1

Why did the Oreo go to the dentist? Because he lost his filling
Tal vs Gipslis, 1955 
(C15) French, Winawer, 50 moves, 1-0

I once made a lot of cash cleaning up leaves. I was rakin it in
Romanishin vs Beliavsky, 1993 
(C15) French, Winawer, 42 moves, 0-1

How does a rabbi make his coffee? Hebrews it.
Kasparov vs Ivanchuk, 1995  
(C16) French, Winawer, 31 moves, 0-1

Why shouldn’t you trust atoms? They make up everything.
Fischer vs Ivkov, 1959 
(C16) French, Winawer, 52 moves, 0-1

What do you get from a pampered cow? Spoiled milk.
C Zuidema vs Andersson, 1973
(C16) French, Winawer, 44 moves, 0-1

What do cows do on date night? Go to the moo-vies.
Geller vs Karpov, 1976 
(C16) French, Winawer, 42 moves, 1-0

How do poets say hello? Hey, haven’t we metaphor?
Alekhine vs Nimzowitsch, 1930 
(C17) French, Winawer, Advance, 30 moves, 1-0

Why did the golfer cry? He was going through a rough patch.
Tal vs I M Eropov, 1953 
(C18) French, Winawer, 47 moves, 1-0

A bossy man walked into a bar, then ordered everyone a round.
Tal vs Korchnoi, 1958 
(C18) French, Winawer, 35 moves, 0-1

The numbers 19 and 20 got into a fight. 21.
Fischer vs Tal, 1960 
(C18) French, Winawer, 21 moves, 1/2-1/2

It was sfod telling others what to do again. Z got punched out.
J Diez del Corral vs Petrosian, 1969 
(C18) French, Winawer, 54 moves, 0-1

What do you call a fake noodle? An impasta.
Spassky vs Korchnoi, 1977 
(C18) French, Winawer, 40 moves, 0-1

What do you call a murderer with two butts? An assassin.
K Spraggett vs Beliavsky, 1985
(C18) French, Winawer, 37 moves, 0-1

What did the pirate say when he turned 80? Aye matey.
Oll vs M Ulybin, 1989 
(C18) French, Winawer, 34 moves, 1-0

zee free legend truth troll invented a new word! Plagiarism!
Polgar vs Anand, 1992 
(C18) French, Winawer, 65 moves, 0-1

I tried to sue the airport for misplacing my luggage. I lost my
G Milos vs S Kindermann, 1997
(C18) French, Winawer, 39 moves, 1-0

Why did the chicken go to the séance? To get to the other side.
Carlsen vs S Agdestein, 2006 
(C18) French, Winawer, 34 moves, 1-0

What did the 0 say to the 8? Nice belt!
J Sarkar vs Shulman, 2007
(C18) French, Winawer, 29 moves, 0-1

Where are average things manufactured? The satisfactory.
Vocaturo vs T Hillarp Persson, 2009 
(C18) French, Winawer, 35 moves, 1-0

Why can’t male ants sink? They’re buoy-ant. Dzindzichashvili
A Pijpers vs Shirov, 2011 
(C18) French, Winawer, 41 moves, 0-1

How do you drown a hipster? Throw him in the mainstream.
Leko vs A Goganov, 2015 
(C18) French, Winawer, 32 moves, 1-0

Talk is cheap? Have you ever talked to a lawyer?
Ragozin vs Botvinnik, 1944 
(C19) French, Winawer, Advance, 54 moves, 0-1

What sits at the bottom of the sea & twitches? A nervous wreck.
Smyslov vs Botvinnik, 1944 
(C19) French, Winawer, Advance, 40 moves, 0-1

Where does Batman go to the bathroom? The batroom.
Fischer vs Larsen, 1971 
(C19) French, Winawer, Advance, 41 moves, 1-0

What does a nosy pepper do? Gets jalapeño business!
W Hartston vs Uhlmann, 1973 
(C19) French, Winawer, Advance, 52 moves, 0-1

What’s orange and sounds like a carrot? A parrot.
R Byrne vs Korchnoi, 1979 
(C19) French, Winawer, Advance, 49 moves, 0-1

How does Moses make tea? He brews.
M Ghinda vs Uhlmann, 1983 
(C19) French, Winawer, Advance, 60 moves, 0-1

Why did the M&M go to school? It wanted to be a Smartie.
Short vs Korchnoi, 1986 
(C19) French, Winawer, Advance, 36 moves, 0-1

How do you make a tissue dance? Put a little boogie in it.
Velimirovic vs Korchnoi, 1984 
(C19) French, Winawer, Advance, 42 moves, 0-1

Rest in peace to boiling water. You will be mist.
Xia Yiyun vs Q Gong, 2001
(C19) French, Winawer, Advance, 32 moves, 0-1

What do you call a pony with a cough? A little horse.
R Felgaer vs Korchnoi, 2002
(C19) French, Winawer, Advance, 33 moves, 0-1

French Def: Classical. Alapin Var (C14) 1-0 46.b4 zugzwang
N Zubarev vs N Alexandrov, 1915 
(C14) French, Classical, 50 moves, 1-0

74 games

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